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I’m a temp, too, so I totally understand the need to have an emotional outlet for the emotions that motion through me all the time, mostly about how I hate temping and I wish I had a real job and maybe I should be looking for one then? But at least I OWN my emotions instead of pretending to embrace irony with my Rivers Cuomo glasses and gigantic ugly watch (my watch is kind of big, but it is awesome).

And yes, I am, in fact, aware that I have previously featured a still from this video. But in the words of Goddess Ke$ha Herself, “I don’t give a, I don’t give a, I don’t give a.” Also, it took YEARS but I finally figured out how to add Hulu videos to WordPress, so expect about a million videos of NBC’s Thursday night shows.

Hey, remember that time I said BJ Novak looked like a pedophile?

It’s like he saw that and now he’s just fucking with me. He looks like the kind of guy I would see on the train on the way home from work, and I would be like “oh, he’s kind of cute I guess,” and then I would realize, no. I’m pretty sure this is what a Juggalo would dress like at a hipster party.

So I know that Brad Pitt is Mr. Family Man with Angelina Jolie. But there are SO MANY tabloid stories about them breaking up and everyone’s like “but what about the children?????” Number one, I think the only real fear for these kids if the two of them broke up is that Angelina would raise them, and that without Brad Pitt in her life she would start wearing the kids’ blood in vials around her neck. Not that I think Brad Pitt is necessarily the best guy ever, because I’ve never met him and also because I always think he’s a girlfriend abuser because he beat Jackie up on Roseanne. But then I remember that that was George Clooney, so I think that really tells you how much I care about either of them. If that doesn’t tell you, I will: I don’t really care about either Brad Pitt or George Clooney.

I do care about the safety of Brad Pitt’s children though.

Oh no, who is that guy they’re with??????? Where is Angelina?????? Shouldn’t she be protecting them with her Tomb Raiding skillz???? And, is it me, or are Shiloh and Zahara pretty much the hippest toddlers in the world? Shiloh in a total Agyness Deyn way, and Zahara in a, I don’t know, less androgynous way? Suri Cruise better watch her back. Just like Little J became Constance’s Queen Bee, these two are going to team up and take over and all the other popular Hollywood Children will stop wearing headbands and start wearing skinny jeans, and Suri will have to team up with like, Matt Damon’s kids or someone that no one will ever recognize to try to bring down Zaharloh. But then Nate Archibald will show up and be Zaharloh’s escort at the coming out ball and Suri will realize that she’s finally met her match. This is the best comparison I can come up with, because I saw a commercial today that reminded me Gossip Girl starts again on Monday, and it’s all I can think about. This is no good, because I’m taking the GRE this weekend, so unless one of the essays is about the social politics of the Upper East Side, and the math problems are about threesomes involving Hillary Duff, I might be fucked.

NO SHAKIRA, DON’T GET IN THAT CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!@@~~~!!!!

I feel like Mindy Kaling just caught B.J. Novak staring inappropriately at her 9 year-old sister and is like, “Ryan, come on. We’re going home and we’re going to talk about this,” but really she means yell at him for being a pervert.

Alright. So, if you are totally awesome, you know that Jarvis Cocker has just put out a new record and it is A-MAZ-ING. I mean, seriously, it’s great. It’s like all I listen to lately. Love it. I talk about it all the time. People (Ashley) have started to ask me to, you know, not talk about him so much. Especially things like this:

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