You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘chris hansen’ tag.

Kids, AND I’M LOOKING AT YOU LITTLE AMELIA POND, if this guy ever asks you if you to join him in his TARDIS, say no. Then please tell a trusted adult, like a parent, a teacher, or any adult who isn’t giving you a fucking deathstare. Do NOT let him come any closer.

Basically, you’re dead now. What is with the recent Doctors, anyway? First we have a seriously dangerous Death Eater who KILLED HIS OWN FATHER, led to the death of Cedric Diggory, and tried to kill little Harry Potter. Now they have a guy with no eyebrows (don’t let the BBC trick you, that is photoshop not eyebrows!) and one of those HORRIBLE CREEPSTER HATS. Seeing someone wear this style of hat (unless they’re an old Cuban man) is basically seeing Chris Hansen follow them around with a stool and an internet chat transcript.

This is a dramatic reenactment, starring Shia LaBoeuf as himself.

shialabeefcake: hey girl long time no chat. what are you doing?
underage_sexgirl: o u know, nothin much. not participating in any kind of nbc-sponsored pedophile sting operation lol
shialabeefcake: that’s cool. what are you wearing?
underage_sexgirl: whatever it is 14 year old girls are wearing these days. it’s not like i’m actually a 42 year old man or anything lol. u?
shialabeefcake: just some ugly shoes, a ratty old t-shirt, an ugly denim jacket with a weird collar, purple jeans, and of course my calvins!
underage_sexgirl: omg i liek find you so cool you should come over to my house. my parents are totally out of town ;)
shialabeefcake: yeah for sure. what should i bring? condoms? wine coolers? cool whip?
underage_sexgirl: how about an ipod and a muffin from starbucks. i just love those things ;;)
shialabeefcake: sounds good i’ll be there soon. oh one more thing. you’re sure this isn’t a sting?

No reason not to pick up some coffee while I'm picking up her muffin

Read the rest of this entry »