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A few weeks ago, Buzzfeed posted a list of Halloween costumes you could wear with your “Octobeard.” I assume this is the October and beard version of the mustache you grow to celebrate Mustache March when you are a bro in college who just discovered the ironi-stache and also you don’t have a real job yet so you can look like a creep and it’s okay.

Obviously, someone agreed with our analysis of Joaquin Phoenix.

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Alright. So, if you are totally awesome, you know that Jarvis Cocker has just put out a new record and it is A-MAZ-ING. I mean, seriously, it’s great. It’s like all I listen to lately. Love it. I talk about it all the time. People (Ashley) have started to ask me to, you know, not talk about him so much. Especially things like this:

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You may have heard that (maybe former) actor Joaquin Phoenix is ditching movies to become a rapper. Not only that, but his rapper name is going to be Joke P. More like Joke Pedophile, am I right? I AM SO RIGHT. He’s even preemptively posed for his mugshot on Friday night.

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