If it wasn’t obvious from the fact that it is the very first link we list on our blogroll (of like, four links but STILL) we’re fans of Oh No They Didn’t. I don’t usually read many other gossip blogs, simply because there are so many and ONTD has everything worth reading. Plus you don’t have to deal with the likes of Perez Hilton and his followers. So when I was browsing it while kicking back with some SVU and Pimm’s, of course I had to read the post entitled the 10 Biggest Hipsters in Hollywood. This list is SO CORRECT. It’s NUTS how right it is! Then I realized, wow. We haven’t dealt with Jared Leto yet. And he is like… wow. WOW.

Jared Leto spent years and years coasting on the goodwill earned from My So-Called Life. My friends still mention Jordan Catalano as an ideal man (personally, I prefer Nick Andopolis from Freaks and Geeks, because I like stalker stoners, not dudes who can’t read). But then Jared Leto was like “gee, MSCL isn’t cool enough. I’m going to do some movies.” Yeah, he did stuff like Girl, Interrupted, which isn’t really that indie-cool, but it did star a bunch of indie-cool people like Elizabeth Moss, Clea DuVall, and George Bluth (although it could have been Oscar with his hair cut. It’s hard to tell). But then Jared Leto was like “I need to be even cooler.” So he was in American Psycho, Fight Club, and Requiem for a Dream. If you have never met a hipster, you might not realize this, but these are three of the movies that every single hipster ever lists on their favorites. Usually will find at least two of these, something ironic (like Labyrinth*), and your choice of Wes Anderson movies. He also played Mark David Chapman in Chapter 27. If there’s one thing that hipsters used to like, it’s Catcher in the Rye, so Mark David Chapman? HIPSTER. Jared Leto for playing him? HIPSTER. So, yeah, Jared Leto is in a lot of hipster movies. But does that mean he IS a hipster?The man loves his scarves. Many, many scarves.

The man loves his scarves. His many, many scarves. Seriously, I don’t even have this many scarves and I have multiple scarves.

He certainly looks the part, although I’m a little nervous that that’s an Ed Hardy shirt underneath.

He may have had sex with Sienna Miller, who is a total hipster and also 27.


He wears fucking Crocs! Unless Mario Batali and thousands of little kids are now suddenly cool, which they are not, um… well Crocs are the devil. UNLESS THIS IS A CLEVER PLOY TO LURE YOUNG CHILDREN AND/OR ITALIAN CELEBRITY CHEFS INTO HIS LAIR.

I don’t think so, though.

Hipsters don’t wear guyliner. Jared Leto is obviously too emo-goth to be either a hipster OR a pedophile. Trick question! It should be said, though, that based on his Wikipedia entry (so you know it’s totally true), Leto seems to be really into method acting. He allegedly learned Russian for his role in Lord of War (having never seen it, I assume his character at least spoke Russian, otherwise it was maybe just a coincidence and something to do between scenes like how I read Google Reader in between things to do at my job). So, perhaps if Leto was cast as a child molester in a movie, we will have to change our decision.

*This is the only example that we could come up with that are NOT currently on our shelves and/or Netflix queues, but to be honest Newsies, Hackers, Spiceworld, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies, and mid-to-late 90s horror movies are also really good examples. Or they would be if they didn’t hold well-loved spots on our video shelves and in our hearts.