Dear Jim Carrey,

Don’t think that you can fool me just because you have a grown woman with you. That quasi-windbreaker screams volumes more than her presence can, even though it’s just one word over and over again (“PEDOPHILE! PEDOPHILE! PEDOPHILE!”). Why not just grow a creepy mustache and call it a day? Unless, I guess you’re really going for more the Patrick Swayze in Donnie Darko type, in which case you are well on your way, sir.

Sincerely,

The crack Hipster or Pedophile team

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