About a month ago, Ashley got really into watching Last Comic Standing, particularly the audition rounds. I tried to resist, but due to her bad influence and constant peer pressuring, I eventually gave in. One of my favorites from the very beginning was Mr. Paul Foot. I liked the absurdity of his act, and I also liked his accent. He’s English. He’s very funny. He’s also very weird, which I think he tries to express through his personal style, but I think that it comes across more as aging neighborhood pedophile than simply eccentric comedian. It’s hard to say, though, and hence the pressing, urgent need for this blog. You need to know what to look for so you can know what to avoid. “But Sarah,” you say, “shouldn’t we be avoiding both hipsters and pedophiles?” To that, I say yes. But you still need to know the difference so you can know how to avoid them. When it comes to children, hipsters are slightly less dangerous, because with a strong enough home life, hipster interaction need not result in your child becoming a hipster. From what I understand, child molestation is a vicious cycle. So is being a hipster, but that can be broken by taking away access to Pitchfork and “vintage” clothing boutiques.

Anyway. Paul Foot. So is he a hipster, or is he a pedophile. Here’s a ridiculously easy way to tell, and this is true of almost all hipsters or pedophiles: is there a mullet present? If yes, we are talking about a hipster. If not, you have a pedophile. There are very few overlaps. However, there are these other pictures.

Here he is, possibly spying on children at the local playground. Or maybe he just thought it would be an amusingly eccentric publicity photo for a stand up comic (or “live muser”).

It’s as if he got caught on camera just as he was about to go in for the attack. I really wouldn’t have such a hard time just calling him a hipster if it wasn’t for the ascots. That’s just not something hipsters wear. They wear bandanas. But maybe the ascot is just the British bandana.

In closing, watch some of Paul Foot on YouTube.