This is the post where I decide to revisit Elijah Wood and totally call out my compatriot for being WRONG. Normally I might be all like “I don’t want to say she’s wrong,” or something like that, but I totally disagree with the idea that Elijah Wood is anything but a wee adorable hipster with big blue eyes. I always hope that I’ll see him at Pitchfork or something, although that dream has yet to be realized. I think that maybe it’s because he just blends in with all the other hipsters who look like child molesters.

I suppose it’s possible he’s carrying condoms and wine coolers in that bag, but I don’t think so. Maybe it’s because I only want that to be true if he’s coming over to my house.