Let’s just focus on Christopher Meloni, in the center, as Gene. I think we can all be reasonably comfortable saying hipster (Michael Showalter) and victim of a child molester (the other guy). That’s why he’s hiding behind the reflective aviators.

We all know Christopher Meloni as Detective Eliot Stabler, where he beats on child rapists. Some people know him from Oz, where he was a rapist or something. But not enough people know about Wet Hot American Summer, or his turn as Gene. Now, if you’ll just watch this video, I’m going to go fondle my sweaters and figure this one out.

There’s the weird facial hair. There’s the half-shirt. There’s the bandana. There’s the fact that he hangs out with Michael Showalter and a guy in shorties. I would say that it’s too close to call, but oh yeah. He works at a summercamp.

Pedophile. Stabler would be so angry. He’d probably punch a wall, while Gene humps a fridge.